The Ballad of Zippy the Penguin, Part 1

[children singing]
He is Zippy
So very Zippy.
He's Zippy the Penguin!

He is Zippy,
made of Origami.
He's Zippy the Penguin!

[dark chanting]
Down beneath the soily crust,
the crusty earthen turf.
Evil lurks to and fro,
it lurks around the Earth.

Dr. Seal and his men-at-hand,
the henchmen of Socka-Doom!
They lurk about to and fro,
within their earthen tomb.

They lie in wait for the day,
when the bell rings of doom.
For only then they will rise again,
to leave their cozy room.

And here now the day has come,
Seal rises from the void.
To roam the Earth with moral men,
Like Edgar, Joe, and Lloyd.

Dr. Seal, merciless to all,
ripping soul from body.
He's feeding on the flesh of man,
to women he's quite naughty.

[Announcer voice]
Oh what a God-forsaken land it is we live in if Dr. Seal and his evil henchmen from Socka-Doom are allowed to march to and fro above the earthen crust! This will surely spell tragedy! The horrible demise of the entire human race is likey! Popular TV shows could be canelled before they get the chance to run out of plotlines! What hope do we have now against such a chaotic fate? I ask you man, WHAT HOPE INDEED?" [shakes camera]

[old wise man]
Children of innocence! Children of purity!
Those who's souls have yet to be filled with the evil taint of prime time, MTV, and bias news media!
Only you can save humanity!

... Only you can call our Savior forth from this stack of 20 lb laser-perforated printer paper!

[line of children]
Zippy! Zippy!
We need you Zippy! Save our parents, aunts, and uncles! And maybe our grandparents too!
[kid at the end of the line]
And save my toys. And I want a Zippy the Penguin(tm) Super-Origami-Battle(sm) Action Figure for christmas!

[dramatic aura swells. Zippy folds up from a stack of paper on a desk]
I am Zippy! Mightiest of all Origami Penguins!
The spirit of those children has breathed life into my papery bones!
My woodpulp heart beats with burning desire!
The intricately woven wood fibers of my soul shall now go and make a difference in this world!
... by doing a rightly good job of putting a boot to Dr. Seal's Ass!

[Children sing]
He is Zippy
not a hippie.
He's Zippy the Penguin!

He is Zippy,
kick that ass-ky!
He's Zippy the Penguin!

[to be continued...]

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